I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
