she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
