Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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