well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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