Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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