just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
