come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Bang-toberfest begins!!
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Randomize
