I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I still have a little drunk in my system
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
