It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Randomize
