Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
