i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
