Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
