Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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