he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
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