I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
