Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Randomize
