WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
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