I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize