I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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