He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
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