Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
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