I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
