I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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