Christians are straight up FREAKS
butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
