At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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