help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
