took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
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