Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Randomize
