At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
