i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
You made out with two different species that night
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Randomize