I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
