i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
I haven't been this sober since birth.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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