I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
