I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
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