I'm really into asian looking animals
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
I woke up under a house in Key West
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