i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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