I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
My underwear smells like fireworks.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
I queefed so loud it echoed.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Randomize
