Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Randomize
