Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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