you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Randomize
