spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
