R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Where did you get a picture of my penis
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
