OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
