dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
