my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
