its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
