I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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