one might say we're banned from that church
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize