but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
We're too hungover to prance.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
