What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I just had sex on a roof
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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