i barfeds in our rink
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Four minutes until I can fart!
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
