Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
