It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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