I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
