Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
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