lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
