On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
