Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
