if i died would you start the facebook group?
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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