he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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