he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
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