do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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