He is an equal opportunity slut.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
