Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize