Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
