Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
