In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
