is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Randomize
