I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Randomize
